*   𝐣𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝.

         HE HAS NO IDEA. HARMED? HARMED WAS WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE ENEMY HURT YOU, but what of the one you love with his hands wrapped around your neck & leaving you unable to breathe? She had been left with a raw throat ( & all the screaming that came after hadn’t helped ) & an aching soul. Everything had been hurt, everything had been burning, yet all she can do is nod at his query. ❛ I was — ❜ How does she explain? How can she? ❛ I was looking for someone — trying to make sue he was okay. ❜ Except he wasn’t, she had been far too late. ❛ I’m fine. ❜ Voice sounds odd to her own ears, but what surprises her is the need to reassure — him of her safety. Why? He doesn’t care ( not anymore. He may not have even cared back in Mustafar. )

      Sad smile touches her lips, but it is not devoid of warmth. She wishes she too could see ( & perhaps that she too could FORGET. ) When he repeats her word, she wonders if he can also taste the wrongness of it, feel how unfit it is for what they were! ❛ Once. ❜ They had been friends once though, had they not? That was not a lie. She had promised to never forget him — the reminder hits her so hard she’s left momentarily breathless, the cruelty of the promise taunting her, for in the end, it had been him who had forgotten her. She looks away ( SHE NEEDS TO STOP THIS. ) It’s his voice, the suppressed pained syllables that draw her out, pull her back. She wishes it didn’t hurt him ( her it will never stop hurting. ) She wishes she could tell him as much. ❛ Who what? ❜ She doesn’t want him to hold back ( hadn’t that been how their troubles had started? ) His queries are difficult, but they are not annoying. ❛ I can’t even imagine how you’re feeling. ❜ How does she tell him she would never mind, that even when flecks of gold had been overtaking beloved blue, she had still wanted to fight to be by his side, to bring him back? How does she tell him HE CAN TRUST HER? ❛ I want to help. ❜

                                𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐀 𝐅𝐄𝐖 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 he comes up with something to say ,   eyes downcast while his tired brain tries to understand.   but it can’t   :   it is too much ,   too paralyzing to even grasp.   HIS MEMORIES ARE GONE AND THEY MAY NOT RETURN.   his own feelings are foreign ,   body tensing as if prepared to escape.   but where would he go ?  almost laughter crawls up his throat though he presses pale lips together to contain it   ——   he knows nothing !   he   (  a nameless being ,   empty of everything that made him who he once was   )  is at the mercy of padmé.   hands turn into fists before he finally looks at her.   ❛   ———   well ,   was he  ?   ❜   it makes no sense ,   for him to be asking that.   yet he desperately yearns for a distraction ,   something to make him forget   (   how ironic  !   )   all that is lost.   ❛   was he okay  ?   ❜   he knows the answer even before he’s finished asking.   she bears quiet features and a vacant voice   ;   the visage of someone who has suffered.   perhaps he mirrors that expression.   ❛   that’s good.   ❜   a small wave of relief surprises him once more  :   how can he care for the safety of someone he does not even remember  ?    

                               𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐅 𝐒𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐕𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐒 ,   settling down his stomach and weighing him down ,   pounding against its walls.   ONCE THEY WERE FRIENDS ,   NOW THEY ARE NOTHING BUT STRANGERS.   how  ?  how is it fair ?   for everything to be ripped away from him ,   for everyone he once knew   (   he probably had family ,   friends.   now he has nothing )   to be swallowed by darkness.   a darkness so heavy and devouring it threatens to smother him ,   respiration accelerating at his own machinations.   HOW IS IT FAIR  ?  he must’ve been a terrible person to deserve this ,   to ensure the wrath of the cosmos.   HE MUST HAVE BEEN A MONSTER.   such simple thought is enough to speed the beat in his chest  ——   it is getting harder and harder to breathe now.   he ignores her question ,   her kindness and willingness to assist ,   instead focusing on regaining control.   dry throat clenches as he desperately tries to swallow ,   to ground himself.   nails dig into soft palms with enough force to draw blood   :  he needs to calm down.   ❛   WHAT   ———   ❜   sore notes   (   and forlorn   )   begin ,   trembling slightly under the weigth of his despair.   ❛   ———   WHAT’S MY NAME  ?  I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER MY OWN NAME.   ❜   he’s somewhat hysterical ,   begging for everthing to come back.   but there is no one to beg to ,   no one who can help him now.   frustration ,   apprehension ,   anguish   ——   they all combine ,   making a prisoner of his heart.   ❛   i can’t even remember that.   ❜   words are fainter ,   even more hopeless than they were before.   she could never fix this ,   could never understand.