* phulusa.

_{SHE OBSERVES with distinct intent that invariably transpires routinely whilst enclosed by his familiar                         but is it UNDENIABLY FAMILIAR like it once was, soothing and reassuring in its means of projecting ?                         presence. In this moment, she is doubtful. SUSPICIOUS, dare she possibly envision. For, surely, the actions that are currently acquainted with him are not as consequential, not of preeminent significance as they verily appear to be ?}     ❝     You                 you didn’t answer my question. WHAT HAPPENED ? Why                 ❞     _{Why did this have to happen ?}

                          eyes open once more.   ANOTHER OF HIS MANY MISTAKES.   _{the doubt shadowing her features tears him apart   :   shredding whatever remains untoched of ruptured soul ,   burning his heart with the fury and heat of a thousand suns.   a raging fire ,   which obliterates that desperately held composure in his bloodstream   ——   as water threatens to gather ‘neath pale lids.   you still cannot tell her the truth.   ❛   ———   don’t you know already  ?   ❜   vestiges of sarcasm linger ,   remnants of the person he once was.   you’re a monster now ,   don’t forget that.   ❛   it’s all my fault.   ❜   the words come toneless ,   dry.   it is not pity he seeks,   for he does not deserve it.   absolution lays well beyond his grasp.   he simply cannot speak the truth aloud.}

@phulusa

DREAD,   _{it plagued her conscience with minuscule murmurs of undiluted caution.   Initially,  it gave off the sole impression that it was simply too much.   But,  the more she found her gaze unreciprocated by the one she held   (   to that moment,  even,  for a padawan’s appreciation for their master can go beyond,  no matter the horrid circumstances that tormented them both   )   in high regard,  the concern almost felt too little,  too hollow.   What was wrong?   WHAT HAPPENED?   Still,  despite the overall uncertainty that gnawed at her,  she followed suit.   Nowhere was safe,  and his words merely provided further evidence of it.}

      _{❝   Anakin,   ❞   it felt wrong, so foreign to utilize his true name.   ❝   What’s going on?   ❞}

                     ephemeral sanctuary of the dirty alley offers no comfort ,   _{does nothing to still the painful beat of his heart.   his burden fights    —   it pressures and keeps blue eyes on the ground ,   struggle raging wars in his mind.   HOW CAN HE TELL HER THE TRUTH  ?   that he’s harmed and destroyed and betrayed everything they once cared for  ?   it’s impossible ,   unreasonable.   vestiges of darkness whisper that he should lie   ;   he almost listens.   he wants to listen ,   yearns to see not rejection on her features but kind compassion.   he swallows and gathers tenous courage ,   ❛   I   ——   ❜   it’s dangling off parted lips   :   i killed them all.   the younglings ,   the masters ,   the knights.   anyone i could find in the temple that night.   poor timing ,   now he chooses to raise anguished stare ,   focus on the face of ahsoka tano.   his padawan ,   his family   —   he cannot do it.   gaze closes instead ,   curls slowly shaking along with his head.   ❛   ——   i’m glad to see you’re okay.   ❜   my mistakes have not killed you ,   yet.}      

inlusicnis.

A DISTURBANCE INDEED.   _{It bore no initial familiarity but no matter the past or present circumstances,  she always discovered herself drawn to it                                    a once hidden,  wordless desire                                    as it dared to be rekindled.   Accompanied her wherever she went,  she neared carefully,  a particular pace in her step,  observing,  ceasing when the source befell her.   Anakin.   The crowd long since diminished,  leaving behind a reunion long since craved.   She held every intention of stepping forward but she remained in place,  caged in utter shock.}

_{(   What was she to do?   She thought he was dead!   GONE!   Perished with the rest as an ever growing threat lingered,  tainting the minuscule peace that was once there.   It hurt;   it really,  truly,  hurt.   )}

      _{❝   I                  could say the same to you.   ❞   Her voice felt almost unused,  strained against the mixture of incredulity and solace that bubbled within.}

      _{❝   What happened?   I thought you were                  ❞   DEAD.}

                         he dares not look into her eyes ,   _{a weigth so crushing ,   so heavy   —   it almost stops him from breathing.   WHAT HAPPENED  ?   oh ,   would the answer satisfy her  ?   to find all you once believed in is gone ,   hear those you trusted have turned   ;   it would disgust her.   screams resonate inside his brain ,   amongst those empty walls of the temple ,   between those corpses he had slain.   HE DOES NOT SEEK ABSOLUTION ,   FOR HE KNOWS THERE IS NONE.   who could forgive such a monster  ?   acted against his kin ,   violated sacred rules.   the answer is simple ,   even painful as it crawls underneath his skin.   ❛   we can’t stay here.   ❜   voice carries no discernible emotion ,   a hurricane obliterating hollow bones ,   savaging and ruining and breaking whatever happiness existed before.   with four long steps he’s by her side ,   stopping for a brief second to speak in low notes while azure gaze remains on the ground.   ❛   it’s not safe   ——   follow me.   ❜   then ,   he starts walking ,   certain she shall listen   (   just like ages before ,   when it was them and the jedi   ;   padawan and master ,   snips and skyguy.   how easy it had been ,   how pleasant  !   )   towards an empty alley.   as they reach their destination he halts   —   facing her ,   finally deciding to raise his stare.   he offers a simple explanation ,   an avoidance of more pressing ones   :   ❛   we could’ve been identified out there.   ❜}          

                                      it’s the commotion that draws her in ,   _{of that he’s certain.   alongside curious stares of those around   :   gravitating towards the source of noise and disturbance he alone has created.   the help he’s given a poor child   (   harassed on the streets ,   almost robbed of the only money he had   )   is a grave mistake ,   for the slightest attention could prove fatal.   but reminded of another life   (   his own   :   fragmented memories seemingly belonging to someone else ,   someone different   )   he had been   ;   unable to avoid involvement.   with an iron glare ,   burning underneath dark hood ,   the crowd is chased away   —   everyone but her.   AHSOKA.   relief washes over his chest ,   surprise as well.   SHE’S ALIVE  !   these are merry emotions ,   tainted by the shadow of his actions   ;   where his mouth threatened to draw a smile there’s carefully constructed mask now.   he does not speak her name.   somehow ,   he doesn’t find such strength.   instead only vacant words leave tightened lips ,   steps navigating closer to her yet mantaining prudent distance.   ❛   ——   i didn’t think i’d see you here.   ❜}    

_{❪   @inlusicnis  !   ❫}