chaied.

                                       ^{‘NO, THEY ARE NOT,’   he replies, this time a smile breaking through his calm demeanor, a soft chuckle brushing past his lips as he feels his muscles relax ( alright, so they will not be continuing their MEDITATIONS right now … a conversation asks to be had - he feels as though he owes the boy explanations, stories, teachings, anything he might ask for that will help him on the beginnings steps of this difficult journey ).} 

     ^{But he watches as the boy quiets himself. He can easily see the machinations of the brain whirring wildly underneath’s Anakin’s silence. He senses gratitude, he senses fear. He senses a riot of emotions ( HE WILL HAVE TO LEARN CONTROL ), none dominating the others. As he sits, patiently listening, he cannot help the stab of compassion in his gut as he once again recognizes that his new Padawan knows of the opposition to his training. The Council had warned against it, had said that if Qui-Gon took the boy on as his new apprentice, he would not have their full support … true, he is not exactly in FAVOR with the Council at the moment, considering that here he sits with this boy from desert planet on the Outer Rim, one too old to be trained, one who has so much potential. But Qui-Gon is not upset by the fact that other Masters disapprove. He has learnt to trust his instincts. He will teach Anakin to do the same.}

     ^{‘The bond between Master & Padawan is more than a simple pact. I am here to do more than just train you,’   he murmurs, shifting his position just slightly, breathing deeply & considering the best thoughts to give the boy.   ‘I am here to guide you, help you, protect you … & you must do the same for me. It is just as important for you to teach me as it is for me to teach you. I am grateful that you accepted me.’   His eyes train upon Anakin’s; he softens, but he does not let that impact the import of his words.   ‘As you are committed to this bond, so am I.’}

                        he nods and listens carefully to every word ,   _{absorbs the meaning of the first of many lessons.   though never one to keep still ,   he’s now motionless and quiet ,   desperately determined to be a good student ,   a good padawan   —   make qui - gon feel proud.   as the other speaks ,   seriousness that seized his features shatters   :   it morphs into a small smile ,   first ,   followed by an even wider grin.   HAPPINESS DANCES ACROSS HIS SKIN ,   ENGULFING HIM.   something inside yells that for this moment he has waited his entire life ,   as short as it has been.   eyes blink ,   surprised and deeply moved   —   he might not understand the whole extent of his own emotions ,   excitement and admiration and fondness.   they are convoluted ,   mix into a storm tickling ribcage walls.   tendrils of grey worry withdraw ,   their grip receding   (   he’s thinking only about the present ,   about this moment between them.   there is no tatooine ,   no slavery or grief.   no future ,   no part   —   just now   )   from young heart.   IT’S ALL THANKS TO HIS MASTER ,   THE VERY SAME PERSON WHO FREED HIM AND FOUGHT FOR HIM.   this man has saved him ,   and one day anakin will save his mother.   the mere notion is incomprehensible   ;   fills his chest with hope for no stranger had cared enough before.}

                       such elation runs through his veins   :   _{it causes him to suddenly stand ,   rapidly acting without a single thought.   small frame takes one step ,   enough to reach the other ,   and his arms raise   —   closing ‘round bigger form.   he squeezes for a second ,   for two ,   for five.   a whisper leaves his lips again ,   repeated words though he does not realize.   ❛   THANK YOU.   ❜   quick the child is to retreat ,   no shame coloring his cheeks.   this is natural ,   this is right.   an open heart   —   how can he not show his gratitude in a simple act  ?   widened gaze and he’s sat again   :   mind trying to wrap itself around previous words.   ❛   but   ——   what could i ever teach you ?   ❜   him ,   teaching qui - gon  ?   what could he ever know that his master wouldn’t  ?   cofusion reflected behind blue irises ,   voice comically rising.   ❛   i’ve never even left tatooine until now  !   ❜   a pause ,   a softening of bewildered frown.   ❛   i would’ve been crazy not to accept you.   ❜}          

chaied.        

                                                ^{QUI-GON FIGHTS HIS smile at the boy’s eagerness with a frown at his pride - he had felt the surge of the emotion, but simply telling Anakin off would serve no purpose & might in fact hinder his growth. But the two expressions still fight to lay claim to his lips ( twitch up or angle down? ). In the end he holds onto his reserve & instead adopts his usual, thoughtful expression.   ‘It is not a matter of taking too long or being good …’}

     ^{How should he put it to Anakin? What words will make the most sense, will lend the boy the most illumination? His eyes drift off, focus on the path of light that sneaks in beneath the curtained window. He returns his focus to Anakin, meeting the younger’s gaze with compassion & a desire to teach.   ‘The PATH of the JEDI is a journey that lasts an entire lifetime. There are things I have not yet mastered. There are things that Master Yoda has not fully understood, wise as he is.’} 

                           the warmth in qui - gon’s gaze is comforting.   _{it travels through his bloodstream until beating heart is reached ,   filling it with happiness and a rush of affection   —   already he feels connected   (   attatched ,   though he shouldn’t   )   to the wise jedi.   here and now ,   he can almost forget what he has left behind ,   focus on the present and only the present.   teachings are met by anakin’s curiosity ,   tranquility bestowed ‘pon youthful features as his master speaks.   if there are things yoda has not learned yet ,   how could the council judge him for knowing so little  ?   ❛   ——   so they’re not going to kick me out if i don’t learn fast enough  ?   phew.   ❜   a grin accompanies his thinly veiled jest ,   glinting blue smiling at the other.   he grows serious after ,   contemplative both of the difficult path   (   but one he is so lucky to follow  !   )   ahead of him ,   and the serious patience he will have to exercise.   when lips part again ,   there’s gratitude in his quiet words.   ❛   thanks for training me ,   by the way.   i know the council didn’t want you to.   ❜   they had not been explicit ,   but anakin had felt their doubt ,   tasted it like dust at the back of his throat.}  

chaied.    

                                                ^{AS MUCH AS HE DESIRES that the boy focus, he does not wish him to get too discouraged. He smiles slightly, his gaze warm & kind as the afternoon sun. He shifts, pulling his arms into his lap & folding his hands, studying Anakin for a moment before deciding the best way to proceed. He recalls what it had been like with Obi-Wan at this age ( though Obi-Wan had had the preparation of the Temple, he had been taught the basic tenets of the Jedi path … ), & takes a moment to find his inner calm, to feel the Force flowing through him. He begins with:   ‘You may simply call me master, Anakin.’}   

     ^{He pauses, thinking once again. This is tricky - the path ahead is littered with unknowns. He sighs.   ‘I know you are trying. You are doing very well for someone who has just begun. You are at a disadvantage because of the late start, but you shouldn’t let this discourage you. There is enough time to learn what you must learn, & to master what you must master. There is no shame in the struggle towards your goal.’}

                        ❛   yes ,   master.   ❜   _{facing his new master   (   at times the word ,   though immensely different in connotation ,   left ashes on his tongue.   reminded him of shmi ,   of the fate he had sworn to free her from.   surely with time it would pass   —   when the years had gone by and his life ‘neath twin suns was nothing but a distant memory.   however her ,   he could never forget   )   meditation quickly slips his mind ,   wide eyes eager and fixed on qui gon’s features.   first comes a rush of pride   :   swelling the bones of his ribcage ,   smile pulling at the corners of pink lips.   ❛   do you think it’ll take me too long  ?   ❜   it may not be a question a youngling would make ,   perhaps not the jedi way ,   yet it is what first forms in his brain.   mouth acts not as a filter ,   but an open passage.   worry lingers in careful query ,   frown settling once more 'pon his brow.   ❛   i don’t want the council to think i’m not   ——   good or something.   ❜}            

chaied.

                                               ^{HIS EYES OPEN immediately. He looks down & over to the young child sitting by his side, cross legged, upon the floor. The queen had graciously allowed them a room to begin the boy’s training, since they would not be able to return to Coruscant straight away … & in any case, the atmosphere of the Temple would be challenging for Anakin. He is much older than the other initiates. Qui-Gon had hoped to at least give him some firm footing so that, when the time came to return to the Temple, Anakin would not be floundering in the dark.} 

     ^{He frowns, gently, & sighs.   ‘It’s a MEDITATION, Anakin. It cannot work or not work. You simply follow the steps & allow yourself to be present. You can do it. You simply need patience, & to remain quiet.’}

                       when has he ever been patient  ?   _{such notion is challenging enough.   yet he does not argue ,   every trace of irritation vanishing from blue eyes ,   those which are now glued to the floor in embarassment.   cheeks almost burn in shame as he wonders   :   how will he endure training if he cannot perform the most basic of steps  ?   youthful features contorted into worry   (   one known too well for his age   )   as he attempts to swallow anxiety.   ❛   i’m sorry qui gon ,   sir   ——   ❜   quickly he notices the mistake.   gaze widens ,   words tumbling out of his mouth.   ❛   ——   i mean ,   master jinn.   but i am trying.   ❜}        

                                       ❛   it’s not working   ——   !   ❜  _{frustration dripping from high notes ,   a childish lump growing within his throat.   smoldering   :  the nature of his usual impatience ,   and it comes accompanied by fear.   PERHAPS HE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BECOME A JEDI.   all he can think of is his mother ,   and the path he promised himself he would follow ,   and how he cannot master one simple exercise   —   suddenly tears threaten to gather behind his eyes.   but they are vanquished ,   choosing to purse pale lips instead.   ❛   i can’t do this.   ❜   ❪   @chaied​  !   ❫}