chaied.

                                               ^{WELL TRY HARDER the child inside of him wants to cry out! But such a reaction is hardly fitting for a Jedi, certainly not a Jedi Knight with a young padawan & a legacy to shoulder … that familiar pang of loss stabs him in the gut, he can’t breath for a moment, he accepts the grief, lets it pass … then he breathes deeply & attempts to calm his frustration. He sits, cross-legged, across from the boy, fighting an expression of irritation, fighting to keep his composure ( perhaps if you stopped fighting, Obi-Wan, there would be nothing left to fight against ).   ‘I know you are, Anakin, just – try again.’}

                           it’s not lack of appreciation that electrifies his nerves ,   _{though his chest aches each time he remembers naboo.   HE IS GRATEFUL TO OBI - WAN KENOBI.   in his soul he’d found the strength to honor qui - gon ,   had ignored even the council and kept his memory alive.   but his heart    —   so young and reckless  !   shadowed by selfish doubt and childish fears ,   choking with terrors that keep him awake at night.   he feels ,   and he feels so much.   a shake of the head to express disagreement   :   he does not want to train anymore ,   simply find a source of comfort in this foreign planet.   ❛   can’t we do something else today  ?   ❜   tones are softer ,   almost shy as lingering anger melts away.}

chaied.

                                         ^{‘ANAKIN!’   his call is sharp & staccato, harsh against the soft but austere surroundings of the Temple. The small room, a private place to train, was filled with his & the boy’s FRUSTRATION. He tried to let it go but he couldn’t - something in him held tightly to the emotion, held it in a death grip, & would not leave him be. This shouldn’t be so difficult ( QUI-GON! HELP ME! ), but it is, it is. He must make up for years of lost time.   This is impossible,   he thinks,   this is impossible.} 

                       lips pursed ,   gaze raising towards his teacher   :   _{the picture of disgruntlement painted crossly against his features.   with a frown ,   rounded cheeks are flooded by red   (   implying anger ,   meaning shame   ) ,   tortuous hurricane destroying any attempts at finding inner peace.   HE DOES NOT APPRECIATE BEING YELLED AT.   after all ,   is he not doing his best  ?   has he not meant to adapt as quickly as he can  ?   what obi - wan doesn’t understand ,   qui - gon surely would have.   swallowing ,   the child speaks in frustrated tones   :   ❛   ——   i’m trying  !   ❜}    

chaied.

                                       ^{‘NO, THEY ARE NOT,’   he replies, this time a smile breaking through his calm demeanor, a soft chuckle brushing past his lips as he feels his muscles relax ( alright, so they will not be continuing their MEDITATIONS right now … a conversation asks to be had - he feels as though he owes the boy explanations, stories, teachings, anything he might ask for that will help him on the beginnings steps of this difficult journey ).} 

     ^{But he watches as the boy quiets himself. He can easily see the machinations of the brain whirring wildly underneath’s Anakin’s silence. He senses gratitude, he senses fear. He senses a riot of emotions ( HE WILL HAVE TO LEARN CONTROL ), none dominating the others. As he sits, patiently listening, he cannot help the stab of compassion in his gut as he once again recognizes that his new Padawan knows of the opposition to his training. The Council had warned against it, had said that if Qui-Gon took the boy on as his new apprentice, he would not have their full support … true, he is not exactly in FAVOR with the Council at the moment, considering that here he sits with this boy from desert planet on the Outer Rim, one too old to be trained, one who has so much potential. But Qui-Gon is not upset by the fact that other Masters disapprove. He has learnt to trust his instincts. He will teach Anakin to do the same.}

     ^{‘The bond between Master & Padawan is more than a simple pact. I am here to do more than just train you,’   he murmurs, shifting his position just slightly, breathing deeply & considering the best thoughts to give the boy.   ‘I am here to guide you, help you, protect you … & you must do the same for me. It is just as important for you to teach me as it is for me to teach you. I am grateful that you accepted me.’   His eyes train upon Anakin’s; he softens, but he does not let that impact the import of his words.   ‘As you are committed to this bond, so am I.’}

                        he nods and listens carefully to every word ,   _{absorbs the meaning of the first of many lessons.   though never one to keep still ,   he’s now motionless and quiet ,   desperately determined to be a good student ,   a good padawan   —   make qui - gon feel proud.   as the other speaks ,   seriousness that seized his features shatters   :   it morphs into a small smile ,   first ,   followed by an even wider grin.   HAPPINESS DANCES ACROSS HIS SKIN ,   ENGULFING HIM.   something inside yells that for this moment he has waited his entire life ,   as short as it has been.   eyes blink ,   surprised and deeply moved   —   he might not understand the whole extent of his own emotions ,   excitement and admiration and fondness.   they are convoluted ,   mix into a storm tickling ribcage walls.   tendrils of grey worry withdraw ,   their grip receding   (   he’s thinking only about the present ,   about this moment between them.   there is no tatooine ,   no slavery or grief.   no future ,   no part   —   just now   )   from young heart.   IT’S ALL THANKS TO HIS MASTER ,   THE VERY SAME PERSON WHO FREED HIM AND FOUGHT FOR HIM.   this man has saved him ,   and one day anakin will save his mother.   the mere notion is incomprehensible   ;   fills his chest with hope for no stranger had cared enough before.}

                       such elation runs through his veins   :   _{it causes him to suddenly stand ,   rapidly acting without a single thought.   small frame takes one step ,   enough to reach the other ,   and his arms raise   —   closing ‘round bigger form.   he squeezes for a second ,   for two ,   for five.   a whisper leaves his lips again ,   repeated words though he does not realize.   ❛   THANK YOU.   ❜   quick the child is to retreat ,   no shame coloring his cheeks.   this is natural ,   this is right.   an open heart   —   how can he not show his gratitude in a simple act  ?   widened gaze and he’s sat again   :   mind trying to wrap itself around previous words.   ❛   but   ——   what could i ever teach you ?   ❜   him ,   teaching qui - gon  ?   what could he ever know that his master wouldn’t  ?   cofusion reflected behind blue irises ,   voice comically rising.   ❛   i’ve never even left tatooine until now  !   ❜   a pause ,   a softening of bewildered frown.   ❛   i would’ve been crazy not to accept you.   ❜}          

chaied.        

                                                ^{QUI-GON FIGHTS HIS smile at the boy’s eagerness with a frown at his pride - he had felt the surge of the emotion, but simply telling Anakin off would serve no purpose & might in fact hinder his growth. But the two expressions still fight to lay claim to his lips ( twitch up or angle down? ). In the end he holds onto his reserve & instead adopts his usual, thoughtful expression.   ‘It is not a matter of taking too long or being good …’}

     ^{How should he put it to Anakin? What words will make the most sense, will lend the boy the most illumination? His eyes drift off, focus on the path of light that sneaks in beneath the curtained window. He returns his focus to Anakin, meeting the younger’s gaze with compassion & a desire to teach.   ‘The PATH of the JEDI is a journey that lasts an entire lifetime. There are things I have not yet mastered. There are things that Master Yoda has not fully understood, wise as he is.’} 

                           the warmth in qui - gon’s gaze is comforting.   _{it travels through his bloodstream until beating heart is reached ,   filling it with happiness and a rush of affection   —   already he feels connected   (   attatched ,   though he shouldn’t   )   to the wise jedi.   here and now ,   he can almost forget what he has left behind ,   focus on the present and only the present.   teachings are met by anakin’s curiosity ,   tranquility bestowed ‘pon youthful features as his master speaks.   if there are things yoda has not learned yet ,   how could the council judge him for knowing so little  ?   ❛   ——   so they’re not going to kick me out if i don’t learn fast enough  ?   phew.   ❜   a grin accompanies his thinly veiled jest ,   glinting blue smiling at the other.   he grows serious after ,   contemplative both of the difficult path   (   but one he is so lucky to follow  !   )   ahead of him ,   and the serious patience he will have to exercise.   when lips part again ,   there’s gratitude in his quiet words.   ❛   thanks for training me ,   by the way.   i know the council didn’t want you to.   ❜   they had not been explicit ,   but anakin had felt their doubt ,   tasted it like dust at the back of his throat.}  

chaied.    

                                                ^{AS MUCH AS HE DESIRES that the boy focus, he does not wish him to get too discouraged. He smiles slightly, his gaze warm & kind as the afternoon sun. He shifts, pulling his arms into his lap & folding his hands, studying Anakin for a moment before deciding the best way to proceed. He recalls what it had been like with Obi-Wan at this age ( though Obi-Wan had had the preparation of the Temple, he had been taught the basic tenets of the Jedi path … ), & takes a moment to find his inner calm, to feel the Force flowing through him. He begins with:   ‘You may simply call me master, Anakin.’}   

     ^{He pauses, thinking once again. This is tricky - the path ahead is littered with unknowns. He sighs.   ‘I know you are trying. You are doing very well for someone who has just begun. You are at a disadvantage because of the late start, but you shouldn’t let this discourage you. There is enough time to learn what you must learn, & to master what you must master. There is no shame in the struggle towards your goal.’}

                        ❛   yes ,   master.   ❜   _{facing his new master   (   at times the word ,   though immensely different in connotation ,   left ashes on his tongue.   reminded him of shmi ,   of the fate he had sworn to free her from.   surely with time it would pass   —   when the years had gone by and his life ‘neath twin suns was nothing but a distant memory.   however her ,   he could never forget   )   meditation quickly slips his mind ,   wide eyes eager and fixed on qui gon’s features.   first comes a rush of pride   :   swelling the bones of his ribcage ,   smile pulling at the corners of pink lips.   ❛   do you think it’ll take me too long  ?   ❜   it may not be a question a youngling would make ,   perhaps not the jedi way ,   yet it is what first forms in his brain.   mouth acts not as a filter ,   but an open passage.   worry lingers in careful query ,   frown settling once more 'pon his brow.   ❛   i don’t want the council to think i’m not   ——   good or something.   ❜}            

chaied.

                                               ^{HIS EYES OPEN immediately. He looks down & over to the young child sitting by his side, cross legged, upon the floor. The queen had graciously allowed them a room to begin the boy’s training, since they would not be able to return to Coruscant straight away … & in any case, the atmosphere of the Temple would be challenging for Anakin. He is much older than the other initiates. Qui-Gon had hoped to at least give him some firm footing so that, when the time came to return to the Temple, Anakin would not be floundering in the dark.} 

     ^{He frowns, gently, & sighs.   ‘It’s a MEDITATION, Anakin. It cannot work or not work. You simply follow the steps & allow yourself to be present. You can do it. You simply need patience, & to remain quiet.’}

                       when has he ever been patient  ?   _{such notion is challenging enough.   yet he does not argue ,   every trace of irritation vanishing from blue eyes ,   those which are now glued to the floor in embarassment.   cheeks almost burn in shame as he wonders   :   how will he endure training if he cannot perform the most basic of steps  ?   youthful features contorted into worry   (   one known too well for his age   )   as he attempts to swallow anxiety.   ❛   i’m sorry qui gon ,   sir   ——   ❜   quickly he notices the mistake.   gaze widens ,   words tumbling out of his mouth.   ❛   ——   i mean ,   master jinn.   but i am trying.   ❜}        

                                       ❛   it’s not working   ——   !   ❜  _{frustration dripping from high notes ,   a childish lump growing within his throat.   smoldering   :  the nature of his usual impatience ,   and it comes accompanied by fear.   PERHAPS HE IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO BECOME A JEDI.   all he can think of is his mother ,   and the path he promised himself he would follow ,   and how he cannot master one simple exercise   —   suddenly tears threaten to gather behind his eyes.   but they are vanquished ,   choosing to purse pale lips instead.   ❛   i can’t do this.   ❜   ❪   @chaied​  !   ❫}  

ethelo.

                  _{rose was young , and while she knows she was raised among jedis , she had a strange feeling she wasn’t meant to be. her face morphs into a beam of sunlight  & flowers when the other one responds with a miming of her movements. she lets it stay for a few more seconds, always craving for the attachment she knew she could not have. then she pulls away and lets out a loud excited shriek. almost obscurely, she starts bouncing. “ do you wanna play ? ” she lets out another loud shriek, that evolves into a giggle. “ let’s play ! ”}

                         her excitement is contagious ,   _{crashing against his skin in waves and stretching his mouth into an easy grin.   laughter flows from beneath parted lips   :   though duty should come first ,   who would choose studies over an afternoon of fun  ?   CERTAINLY NOT HIM.   his master’s scolding voice resonates through the child’s brain ,   however it goes ignored for the sake of planning.   ❛   sure  !   ❜   conspiracy settles between fair brows ,   squinting eyes suddenly filled with mischief.   ❛   what should we do first  ?   i heard they brought new speeders to test   ——   we could go check them out.   ❜   and take them for ride ,   if they were lucky enough not to get caught.}    

ethelo.           

_{she  starts  feeling  empathy  for the  other  child.  rose  knows  a  part  of  who  she  is  meant  to  be  is  compassion  for  all ,  no  matter  how  annoying  they  are. and  of  course  ,  rose  doesn’t  know  if  she  is  meant  to  be a  jedi. this  training  did  cause  her  to  lose  her  family.  but  her conscience, something  she  doesn’t  really  understand  quite  yet ,  tells  her  she’s  doing  the  right  thing.  ❝           i’m …           ❞   pride  blockades her  attempt  ,  but  her  willpower  is  stronger  than  anything  else  in  this  world.  at  this  point   ,  winning  the  argument  is  being  the  first  to  end  it.  ❝          i’m … sorry            ❞.  just  as  the  words  force  past  her  lips  she hugs  him  tight.  ❝           i’ll  get  you  another  one .}            

                                _{blinking ,   blue gaze raises towards her as she begins to speak   —   expectant to hear what will slide past her lips.   brows arched ,   surprise rushes through his veins when an apology is muttered ,   eyes slightly widening ,   mouth opening to reply.   and then she comes closer   :   short arms enveloping his frame.   the embrace fills him with warmth ,   a kind so strange amongst the jedi ,   a shared gesture his mother had gifted him with every single day.   unexpected familiarity creates a knot down his throat   ;   how he has missed such affection  !   it’s enough to melt any remnants of anger ,   his own body moving and patting petite form.   ❛   it’s okay.   ❜   though he is pleased at this outcome ,   emotions he wishes to keep hidden overshadow it.   ❛   i’m sorry ,   too.   i shouldn’t have been so mad.   ❜}    

ethelo.

_{her  lip  begins  to  quiver ;  a WARNING. she  may  be  young  ,  but  she  was  no  less  cunning  than  any  adult. tears  on  demand  were  always  ready . in  this  instance  ,  she refuses  to  acknowledge  the  tears  are  not  completely  derived  from  the  pleasure  of  defeating  anakin. she  has  never  had  her  own  parents. no  chance  to  have any  biological  attachments  of  her  own. unlike  him. do  not  tell  a  word , but  she  often  dreams  of  her  family ,  of  a  family.   before  she  uses  her  secret  weapon , her  voice  recites ,  ❝           passion, yet serenity .  you  broke  the  code  over  a pie  !  how stupid  !          ❞}

                                _{water dwells beneath the dark of her irises yet he pays no mind   —   many hours he has shared with rose ,   knows her enough not to fall prey.   ❛   i’m not stupid  !   ❜   voice is heated by childish anger ,   lips pursed and frown still nested between fair brows.   obi - wan would scold him were he to witness such senseless bickering ,   though that alone is not a motive to cease fighting.   ❛   and it wasn’t just any pie.   it was my favorite.   ❜   annoyance coats each word though wrath has subsided ,   now merely an irritated sigh leaves his lips.   ❛   it wasn’t easy to get.   ❜   it had taken weeks of begging ,   an art anakin had mastered long ago.   with his glare settled on the little girl he sits down ,   legs crossing underneath small body.   ❛   ——   you should apologize.   ❜}